Im a befuddled fellow. I need to purge some stuff from my overpacked cranium.

Things Ill never understand:

• The fascination with Paris Hilton. There are plenty of scrawny, squinty chicks around already.
• Why we dont have a base on the moon yet. Screw global warming, lets colonize!
• Why Al Gore doesnt just start crying at a press conference and get all his anger out. We all realize youre a sad little man. Just let it go, Al.
• Why people think fondly of the 70s. I mean, all we got was disco, and bad Mustangs, and Jimmy Carter...
• Indie rock.
• Why God hasnt smitten us all yet for blasphemy. Turned on the TV lately?
• Why Calico went under (sniff)
• How to tie a tie. Im just to lysdexic, I spose.
• Why people insist on sitting next to you in an empty theater. Feeeel the hive mind.
• Why cats are so lazy.
• Women.
• Where all my ballpoint pens go.
• The parasitic dealings of AOL.
• Why we havent diverted all our military might to attacking the UN. They hurt us more than any other agency.

If you get bored, you should look up info about the Iraqi supergun. Its interesting, for sure. A little Cold War leftovers, anyone?