George Gerschwin should get a posthumous Nobel Prize, just for Rhapsody in Blue. I love that song with all my being. Any mood Im in can be captured by one of the movements. Nothing like a little 1920s laid back orchestra music when you get off work...which I just did. SOOO close to a full eight hours! 7 1/2! Im getting there.

So with that splendiferously unrelated lead in, Im going to explain to all the little children about illegal immigration. I cannot believe--I really cant--that people are protesting the legislation, even though no one can agree on what piece of legislation to choose. I say, we scrap them all and follow these simple rules:

1. Build a big wall. Not a fence, a wall. See, its not the Berlin Wall, since its not in Berlin. Besides that, the Iron Curtain was to keep people in, and we want to keep them out. We'll even let the illegals graffiti it if on their side if theyll just get out!
2. Erase the premise that pregnant women who have their children on US soil give birth to US citizens. Its bunk.
3. Deport the ones not eligible for citizenship. What makes them eligible? I would say at least 10 years here, ability to speak and read English, and a love of our nation. Thats not too much to ask; Ive worked with plenty of illegals, and lived around them, who dont give a royal donkey butt about assimilating. I suggest we take those who dont care and let them assimilate with the ships while we send them back, where they can graffiti hateful things on our Friendship Wall. Buddy Barrier? Pick one.
4. Shoot Ted Kennedy. This is essential. In fact, lets start here and work our way up.

It was decided this week that the Mexican population (not the Mexican-American population, mind you) here in Dallas should boycott US products and call in sick to their jobs Monday to protest in downtown Dallas. Its fine by me if you exercise your right to protest, but guess what? You have to be a CITIZEN OF THE UNITED STATES to exercise your RIGHTS. I know its hard to digest, but so is meat cooked by an illegal immigrant who doesnt adhere to FDA standards.