Look! Im a fiddler crab! Its fiddler crab season!

A funny story straight from the bowls of UPS:

We have a warehouse manager who was grandfathered in from the buyout of Menlo Worldwide--hes a manager simply because he survived the hostile takeover and knows a little about Menlo's workings. Hes a lousy manager, and not only that, but hes girly (so girly he sits in the office doing his hair and giving himself a manicure--his nickname is Charming, since he looks like Prince Charming from Shrek 2). Anyhoo, hes annoying as all get out, but hes funny in his redundancy. On Saturday, he apparently was cruising around on a forklift being lazy when he careened into the warehouse office; I dont know how, its a building inside the warehouse. He plowed the forks right into the wall, leaving two huge gouges. No one saw the accident, so being the girly weasel (but hes so funny in his girliness! He tries being macho, and the machismo collides with his manicure and the insuing trainwreck makes me laugh despite myself) he is, he decides to go home, get a can of paint and some cardboard, come back to the building, staple some carboard over the holes, and paint the whole wall hoping no one would notice. Unfortunately for him, its a different color from the rest of the office, so it sticks out like a sore thumb. Needless to say, first time I saw the damage and I fell over laughing.

I think hes a genuine loon.