Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Give a hoot, dont pollute

That saying cracks me up. A hoot. What...a hoot.

I got a free desk from a friend at work today! Hooray! Now Im typing three feet off the floor instead of on it! Cigars all around! I have a policy of no furniture buying. So far, I havent paid for a single ounce of furniture in my apartment. Why? Cause my sister got married...but more so, I rock. Oh yes.

Speaking of work, there is a fellow there who has some issues. Actually, issues oozing from his pores. Hes a walking contradiction--a reefer-addicted drunk who talks down on people for drinking and smoking. Woooo, hes a doozy alright. Ill call him Dillweed for reference. Thats not his real name. I wish it was though. Anyhoo, Dillweed has a lovely habit of getting under people's skin intentionally, like saying derogatory, goading things just waiting for a response. This reminds me of something else entirely which brings back bad memories and makes me want to pound him to whiny derogatory mush.

All the guys in our department have gotten really, really close to hitting him on more than one occassion, sometimes for shirking from work (it means we take up the slack) or just being a total jerk. Another nice habit Dillweed has is not bathing, for whatever reason. He has been coming to work lately smelling like an alchemical mix of booze, weed, cigarettes and body order. Very potent, very gross. Today, his cubiclemate who has had many a run in with Dillweed decided to Lysol Dillweed's portion of the cubicle before he got there to sort of buffer the smell. D left for something so his c-mate sprayed it again, and when he came back he went off on the temp nearest him (shes pregnant, mind you) for being rude and wah wah wah. It hit the fan really quick, and we spent the next 6 hours (NO JOKE) trying to sort out poor, sad, dejected Dillweed (he reminds us constantly). Now that Im started, let me just get all this out in the open...

Dillweed runs to Human Resources instead of talking things through with the person he has a beef with. For example: A-dog, my cubiclemate, works harder and faster (its not hard, seeing how D is lazy) so he gets more work assigned to him, thereby giving him a higher position...sort of. So Dillweed runs to HR saying hes getting unfair treatment! AAAAAAAARG! He does it with every little thing! Just whining! I want to slap him and scream GET OVER IT! But it wouldnt do any good; itd probably just increase his woe-is-Dillweed mentality.

The Lysol thing was really funny though. We were laughing our heads off. Jerk.


Blogger Frustrated Writer said...

we've all had to work with the Dillweed... at Lockheed it was a guy who wouldn't bathe for days and loved to climb down into the template pit with you, no air flow, hot, sweaty, and the smell would linger for hours. good thing though, the flies and mosquitos never bothered you when he was marking his scent all over your machine.

maybe you should check the local villages since obviously one of them is missing an idiot... just point dillweed in the right direction. They will be happy to have him back.

12:15 PM  

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