Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Marx Schmarx

Good news, everyone! Theres a guy at my work above me who works on UPS' largest Dell account (that portion is worth about 100 million dollars a year) and hes quitting! Im next in line! HOORAY! Maybe I can get another raise! Pass the cigars! And the money! And not in that order!

In related news, my boss came out and said that there were going to be some big changes there that would shake things up--see, we're not supposed to know C is quitting, but we're buds with him, so he told us. That leaves us with a conundrum--if they fire Dillweed, the borderline sociopath BEFORE this Saturday, theres a good chance I wont be armed when he comes in with his puny "assault weapons". I discussed this with my roommate, and he suggested I just stab him with a pen (its a joke...well, not really. All my coworkers think hes on the edge of insanity. I tried talking to him, but hes so pompous he wont listen. Goody!). We'll see how things go. Either way, good stuff on the way! A possible raise, a possible heroic action and suicidable death lunge....all the same to me.

In more related news, my inner ear has been ITCHING for weeks now. I have "excessive ear wax", meaning my ear wont stop producing the stuff, so it blocks my ear canal with black disgusting ear wax. Last time I was at my dads clinic we used he neato new ear looker thing (dangit! what are those called?! Anyhoo, it has a TV screen now! my black ear wax in FULL COLOR!) and it was hideously grotesque. It was like looking into HELL...or my clogged ear canal. Whatevuh. Anyway, I got some q tips and jammed that puppy in there and scratched my brain. It was the most satisfying feeling Ive had all week! You dont understand madness till your ear drum itches and you cant do jack about it. Its like Chinese water torture, minus the Chinese and the water and plus some ear wax. So I guess its like Jon ear wax torture.

I was going to relate the title to my Sociology class, but I ran out of steam and Im tie-herd.


Blogger Alisa said...

I must admit I've never seen my ear wax do anything so incredibly funky. That's pretty impressive.

Best of luck on the promotion :)

4:29 AM  
Blogger GreatBeefalo said...

Yes, my earwax is quite a circus feature. Why just the other day, it saved 12 nuns from a burning building.

1:39 AM  
Blogger Frustrated Writer said...

hope you get the promotion. yikes to the earwax

6:58 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home