King of Torts

Let me preface this post with a story: the other day at work (thats all I do: WORK WORK WORK....do I have a social life? noooope) someone broke one of the fold out tables we use to set shipments on. It was a simple fix--the table leg popped out of its recess, and a little plastic busted in the process. Nothing duck tape wont fix in half a second. Of course, everyone thought this was a ludicris (sp?) idea. Why fix it? Just buy another. Hmmm, says I.

I grew up in a family that scrounged furniture. We never made a trip to the dump without bringing something back that eventually found its way into the house. A little paint, spit polish, and TLC, and BAMO free furniture. The guys at work thought it was hysterical that I would ever consider picking up a chair or something off the sidewalk when someone put it out to be trashed. Screw them. Heres my conundrum...

Im tired of being broke. Ive been broke my whole friggin life. No money, hand me down clothes, hand me down....everything. Im not complaining (wait, yes I am!) because I suppose Ive gained valuable skills and whatnot. But I want to be so stupid rich that I cant spend all my money. Id give it all away. Id give it to hobos and panhandlers and people working at Sack n' Save because I know working sucks. Ive never given in to materialism--I suppose fighting it constantly has made me weaker to it--like Nietsche (WHATEVER) says, stare long into the abyss and the abyss stares back into you. At least I think it was Nietsche. Its just that I notice these absolute scumbag jerks driving Porsches and it makes me want to punch them. In fact, I just really want to punch SOMEBODY!

You show em, Tulkas

Ive been thinking alot lately (BIG SURPRISE!) about my generation. I usually mull these things over in my head, but since I started working at UPS and finally have some interaction with some people my age, Ive re-discovered that my generation is a bunch of dissuaded, morally-blank, partying drunks with no future. Im being very positive here. I was thinking, hey, maybe Im just too uptight and need to cut loose a little--get out and mingle and that jazz. Then I hear the guys just TALKING at work about what theyre going to do after work or when they get with their girlfriends and it makes me think that all the disgust I have for myself amounts to nothing compared to these guys. Its grotesque. I dont want any part of my generation.

Ive always liked that picture--its from the Silmarillion, when Tulkas goes and fights Melkor. Its how Ive always felt--me against them, hopeless and positive that eventually Im going to lose and give in and be an idiot like everyone else.

Thats why I like night shift--I dont have to deal with people. its great. I LOVE it. I mind my own business, and everyone else minds theirs. Its the closest I can get to heritdom nowadays. I found out today that theyre moving us to days soon, which really steams my clams. Im the only one who really likes the night, I guess. Its nothing sinister, its just prettier when you can see every ounce of the metroplex off of 635 with the twinkling lights. Its neato.

Isnt that picture awesome?

Getting lonely, getting old

My Sprint contract ends today! Hooray for me! Im going to get a Razr this time around--I found a neat program that allows me to chop up songs and use them as ringtones. I didnt feel like paying for them anyway.

Its not like I use my phone that much--I usually go 4 or 5 days without receiving a call (I timed it last week--it was 11 days) but hot ziggity dog ziggity boom, them Razrs are spiffy. Can I get Tetris on one? That would be AWESOME! Then I would never be bored!

Give a hoot, dont pollute

That saying cracks me up. A hoot. What...a hoot.

I got a free desk from a friend at work today! Hooray! Now Im typing three feet off the floor instead of on it! Cigars all around! I have a policy of no furniture buying. So far, I havent paid for a single ounce of furniture in my apartment. Why? Cause my sister got married...but more so, I rock. Oh yes.

Speaking of work, there is a fellow there who has some issues. Actually, issues oozing from his pores. Hes a walking contradiction--a reefer-addicted drunk who talks down on people for drinking and smoking. Woooo, hes a doozy alright. Ill call him Dillweed for reference. Thats not his real name. I wish it was though. Anyhoo, Dillweed has a lovely habit of getting under people's skin intentionally, like saying derogatory, goading things just waiting for a response. This reminds me of something else entirely which brings back bad memories and makes me want to pound him to whiny derogatory mush.

All the guys in our department have gotten really, really close to hitting him on more than one occassion, sometimes for shirking from work (it means we take up the slack) or just being a total jerk. Another nice habit Dillweed has is not bathing, for whatever reason. He has been coming to work lately smelling like an alchemical mix of booze, weed, cigarettes and body order. Very potent, very gross. Today, his cubiclemate who has had many a run in with Dillweed decided to Lysol Dillweed's portion of the cubicle before he got there to sort of buffer the smell. D left for something so his c-mate sprayed it again, and when he came back he went off on the temp nearest him (shes pregnant, mind you) for being rude and wah wah wah. It hit the fan really quick, and we spent the next 6 hours (NO JOKE) trying to sort out poor, sad, dejected Dillweed (he reminds us constantly). Now that Im started, let me just get all this out in the open...

Dillweed runs to Human Resources instead of talking things through with the person he has a beef with. For example: A-dog, my cubiclemate, works harder and faster (its not hard, seeing how D is lazy) so he gets more work assigned to him, thereby giving him a higher position...sort of. So Dillweed runs to HR saying hes getting unfair treatment! AAAAAAAARG! He does it with every little thing! Just whining! I want to slap him and scream GET OVER IT! But it wouldnt do any good; itd probably just increase his woe-is-Dillweed mentality.

The Lysol thing was really funny though. We were laughing our heads off. Jerk.

Score One For Irony

A funny thing happened on the way home from church...
I pulled out and noticed a truck behind me that looked strangely familiar. As I got onto the Interstate to head back to the apartment, the truck passes me and I realize, hey, thats my upstairs neighbor! So, in a strange twist of fate, my neighbor goes to the same church as I do. I dont think Ive mentioned it before, but while Im on the subject of irony and my apartment, the reason I chose this complex is because my sister lived here for a year and I knew the area and teh complex well. When we moved in I was shocked to find out I was moving into the exact same apartment as my sister. Go figger.

I was talking to the postman and he commented it was weird that the person before me had the same last name. Weird indeed.

Originality is dead, heres another nail in the coffin

My band director in high school always said that the average human mind tunes something out after 12 repetitions so music has to be dynamic to capture an audience. I keep hearing this stupid Riding Dirty song on the radio and I looked up the lyrics. I could say alot, but Ill just post the lyrics so you can sigh and slap your forehead without my input:

got to get it home befo' the po-po scope this
Big ol' excursion, swervin, all up on the curb and
Nigga been sippin on that hennesy and that gin again
That sin again we in the wind
,Doin a hundred while I puff on the blunt
And roll another one up
We living like we ain't givin a f**k
I got blunt up in my right hand
, 40 oz in my left
Freezin my ballzRoll another tree, green leaves and all
Comin pretty deep, me and my dawgs
Yo, I got to hit the back streets
Wanted by the six pounds and I got heat
glock-glock shots to the block
we creep-creep, pop-pop Hope cops don't see me, on the low key
With no regard for the law, we dodge em like f**k em all
But I won't get caught up and brought up on charges for none of ya'l
lKeep a gun in car
And a blunt to spark
Roll up if you want
Nigga get it poppin dawg
Ready or not we bust shots off in the air

And on it goes. After reading this I can clearly say that Bush is the real reason the black man has so many problems. That dirty Bush. At the end of the posted lyrics there is this message:


If you find some error in Ridin (Feat Krazie Bone) Lyrics,would you please submit your corrections to me? Thank You.

HAHAHAHAAH! Thanks for narrowing it down. SOME error?

It sure is nice being able to pay the bills. Its such a change just having a little money in the bank. Im lovin' it.

This weekend is UPS' softball tournament. All the branches of the office have been split up into volunteer teams (there are 500 people in the facility, so there are plenty of players). The guys in my department have been psyching themselves out for the last two weeks, but we have to work on Saturday so my co-worker and I will probably have to sit out. Not that I dont support Air Export (my department), but I think the money is on the Warehouse boys. Thats where the muscle is; I guess me working in warehouses the last year has made me a little biased. Theyre gonna smear those paper-pushers!

Also, a big shout out to my brother Killjoy (link is on the side) because today (errr, yesterday, I keep forgetting the whole early morning thing) is 22 today! 22 on the 22nd...go fig. Happy Birthday Bro!

Instead of posting about how I wish Nancy Pulosi would just SHUT UP FOREVER, Ill tell you all about these little fuzzies in my carpet. Whenever my apartment complex...people...have a vacancy, they install new carpets and all sorts of neat things. They installed really cheap carpet. REALLY cheap. These fuzzy things keep coming out of the carpet and I cant get them to stop. I vaccuum daily, but they keep coming back. Theres my exciting story.

Take your Seat Belt and cram it!

I have a major beef with seat belt laws. A MAJOR beef. I had 5 tickets in high school when they started this "wear your seat belt" crackdown crap. 4 times it was the same cop. It was annoying to say the least. Im sure it sounds like a mighty useful law, but I suppose Im the only one who has looked beyond their "caring for the littleman" facade and seen that this is yet another step into my personal rights. If I dont want to wear a seat belt, the government should have absolutely no say in it. None. Its my car, my body, my seat belt, my personal space. Ive gotten plenty of the "but what if you die" lines from my family, and I say:

TOUGH LUCK! Itll be my fault, wont it? Tough luck for ME cause its my body that the incrementalist moochers in Congress have no right to legislate! It sounds like a tagline, but it boils down to control. Its the same with helmet laws. Just another step towards absolute control. HELLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOO! This is not a small deal! Can I shout it loud enough?! FROG IN BOILING WATER! Its called....
INCREMENTALISM! CAN I GET A SCROLLING MARQUIS HERE?!

Tomorrow's gonna hurt*

I went to P-crest last night (the church I used to go to) and saw a girl I knew fairly well. I suppose we were friends or something like it; It got me wondering if Im the only human left in America who puts proper emphasis on friends. I have about 3 friends. Everyone else I know is just a person I know moderately well. I wonder if she considered me a true friend or what? I got a sidelong glance, but I dont think she realized I saw it. Im all about subtle inference, you know.

Now to things of real importance: the K-31 stock is all stained, I just need to touch it up in a few places and polyurethane the whole thing. Its gonna look mighty spiffy.

Oxpho-Blue: Breakfast of Champions

The restoration of my K-31 is coming along nicely. Ive almost got the main body of the stock sanded down to staining quality--There were alot--like several dozen--nicks, dings, scratches, bruises, and other flaws on the stock before sanded the top layer off. I wish I had a digital camera so I could take pictures so it would be easier to understand what I mean. I think Ill have it finished tomorrow and stained by the time I go to work. Im going to order some Oxpho-Blue from Brownells (a gunsmithing supply site) so I can touch up some of the dulled metal parts with blue to make it look spiffier. Soon, it will be a magnificent sight to behold! Ill post a final picture. Remember: this is all amateur and my first time to try this sort of thing, so it wont look utterly fantastic, but itll still spiffy.

I also did a little research: my rifle was manufactured in 1943, and mightve seen combat. Hooray!

Sorry I dont have anything else to blog about, but Im afraid if I get started about politics or religion or work Ill just slip into a tirade and sound like a nitwit.

After two years of economic celibacy, I finally have purchased another gun. Today was Dallas' big gun show, and Brando and I had extra money (for my parents: yes, I was wise in my purchase, and the bills are paid) so Brando bought a Spanish Mauser K98 (what the Germans used in WW2; its the finest bolt action rifle design ever) and I bought a Schmidt-Rubin K31, pictured above. The trick to buying surplus military firearms is finding the ones that are generally overlooked: As long as the barrel is unmarred, everything else is fixable. Mine was in decent condition (the barrel was immaculate--its been in storage since the 50s, like most old military bolts) so after a quick degreasing with Hoppes, I bought some mineral spirits and soaked the stock and scrubbed the packing grease and other junk off. Now, it looks pretty durn good! I plan on sanding it down and maybe bluing a few parts--Ill post a picture once I get it in mahvelous condition. Shouldnt be too long.

As a side note: the great things about these old military guns is:

1. They usually run for under 200 dollars
2. They are sold like any other gun, without federal restriction
3. They are utterly accurate by their very nature, making them great hunting rifles

So, why pay 700 for a new Remington when I can spruce up my K31 to the same standards for hundreds less?

Hooray!

Even the roaches cant get me down (DIRTY DIRTY ROACHES! Where's my Beretta?! Ill TEACH YOU DIRTY ROACHES!!...ahem)! Frustrated Writer is back to blogging at his new address:

frustratedwriterpartdeaux.blogspot.com

I saw it on Alisa's blog or I wouldnt have known. Today is a better day!

Its not true..it cant be possible!

I saw a roach in the living room. The fog mustve knocked his sense out, because he was stumbling around randomly running into stuff. I zapped him anyway. Blast it, why cant they die in the WALLS?

I got this idea from Demosthenes who in turn got it from someone else. Ill give it a shot. Its a description of what I was doing 10 years ago and what Ill be doing in 10 years. Here I go.

10 years ago, I was a kickin' 10 year old. I remember my mom was stilling working Dallas and we lived in Bryan, so she had to commute and it was turning into a really miserable summer. It wouldnt have been so bad, but I started having this really terrible nightmares where I would narrate (i.e. scream bloody murder) and walk around the house and not remember anything. It was terrible for everyone. I remember also that we were travelling and we checked out the Martian Chroncicles by Ray Bradbury on audiobook and listening to it thinking, my God, this is the best book Ive ever heard of. Delightful story, aint it? At least the nightmares stopped. Really, there is nothing worse than sleeping really hard (I still do, like a rock) and waking up the next morning to have everyone tell you that you were really standing at the foot of your parents bed screaming about some guy on Mars chasing you and you busting your faceplate open on a rock. I still remember that one...

10 years from now, I hope Im married, living happily with a billion dollars. Okay, half a billion will do. Im not picky. I intend to go back to school to major in something, then graduate and go on to work at something that relates to my something degree. After that, Ill make an amount of money proportionate to the something Im doing. Thats the best I can do right now.

Everyone else should blog about this too, or I wont like you anymore. NYAH!

This UPS job has done wonders for my self esteem. This is the first time in a long time that anyone has appreciated any of my skills. I can cut a shipment TWICE as fast as anyone at that facility, past or present. No lie. I tied the record for the number of shipments cut in one day in 8 hours as opposed to 13 (thats how long it took the last guy to set it.. BIIIIIYYAAAAAM!). I told my mom that jokingly, then said something along the lines of "I must be a super genius" and she said something along the lines of "well, we always kind of knew that." I had forgotten.

I remember a time when I wasnt beaten down my fool peoples' ideas that I am not any good. I remember when I thought I could do anything I set my mind to, and I would make my mark on history. Well now, I am whole again! It occured to me, I can do anything-anything-I set my mind to. I guess I just forgot. Im as smart or smarter than the guys who are controlling the court of quantum mechanics. I should join the field and kick the crap out of them. Or chemistry. Or biophysics. Or something really super technical that will make me happy for the rest of my life simply because it taxes my brain and I love to have my mind challenged. I considered doing something like police work or some other low level job ( I say low level; I really do respect cops. I still want to be one deep in my gut and adminster blind justice to preying scum) but now I realize that would be an utter waste of talent. I...

will do something marvelous. History WILL sing of my greatness. Hopefully it will be singing and not spitting.

Plenty of Cash and Baggage

Johnny Cash, that is. I got on a Cash kick yesterday and dowloaded a bunch of his stuff. At work, we somehow got talking about Johnny Cash and high school--another guy that works there, A, graduated in 2004 like me. Our high school differences were very...very...very different. It just makes me realize I got gipped in high school. Im the youngest in the family, so by the time it got down to me it was more a sigh of relief than a burst of joy (its not a complaint, its actually really funny) but the big thing about Artesia that really irks me was that there were no DATEABLE WOMEN! AT ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Brandon, my roommate, graduated with me, and might has well be my twin. We were talking about how we just missed the boat on dating. Completely. We're almost 21 and have not had a SINGLE FREAKIN DATE BETWEEN US BECAUSE OF NEW MEXICO! I can say lots of things about why I cant stand Artesia, but it all is summed up in that statement. Its not like you can make up for it--its 100% sure, unless i date a psychopath or homeschooled looney with a dogface, that all the women our age have lapped us in experience. It pisses me off. REALLY REALLY REALLY BAD! I mean, its not like we werent looking! They all were just ugly, or complete white trash, or ugly complete white trash, or skanky ugly complete white trash...see a pattern? Then, inevitably, my thoughts lead back to..

"If only we'd stayed in Texas, life would be so much better. I wouldve kept losing weight (cause I was when we moved, then gained it back in a month out of depression) and life would be happy and joyous and we wouldve pranced in the lillies singing happy hippy songs..."

But I dont believe that. Im glad we moved, I really am. It was a learning experience. Im a well balanced person now--and I wouldve never found my good friends or my love of guns, or my love of hunting. Go figure. Am I done? I guess.

That picture is my family now. Im the big dope standing in back. I cant help but wonder what we would be like if we'd have stayed in Texas. Oh well. I probably wouldnt be the same, and the imaginary me would get his face beat in by the current me for not being a super duper guy like the now me is. Stupid imaginary me.

Gentlemen, you are America's best.

And the cockroaches arent. After a vicious, disturbingly bloody week-long battle in which men lost both sanity and sleep, the roach enemy has been decimated in a huge cloud of bug-lethal gas. You smell that? That aerosol smell. I love it. I love the smell of bug killing aerosol in the morning!

I usually dont do plugs for products on my blog, but this time Ill make an exception. Actually, two exceptions. I bought this Raid Max, and it kills bugs in two seconds flat. Any bug. For instance, this door-to-door salesman came up and POW he fell over dead in no time at all.
Secondly, Wal-Mart is the greatest store on the planet. The people that protest it dont quite get the gist of capitalism. Profit is good, not bad. Compete, you meatheads! Anyway, the WalMart version of Diet Coke is 58 cents per 2 liter, all the time. That means you can stay doped up on caffeine unendingly for very little money. It has aspartame, but I aint skeered. Ill die at 72 instead of 72 1/2. Better drink more diet soda to make up for those extra six months.

http://funwithhandgrenades.blogspot.com/

I suggest everyone go to this guys site and read the post Wild Bill, part two. It gives a perfect image of the fighting in Iraq from a guy fighting in Iraq. It sickens me that people (read the comments) cannot get the point that:

1. This guy doesnt need a lecture on how Bush is Hitler. For the love of all things holy, I want to shoot some of these idiot protestors. Get a clue. A friggin clue. War is always like this. Bush didnt make it this way. I assumed this was a dead give away, but apparently it takes lots of creative thinking to determine this.
2. Rules of Engagement are crap when they are designed around a war that was fought 60 years ago between two nations, not a superpower and a bunch of ragtag militants with RPGs in the desert.

I just read that post and I feel sorry for everyone involved. Sure, the US has now stirred up a hornets nest, but crying out loud, it was already stirred up before we even WENT to Iraq! The insurgents arent freedom fighters, theyre the same terrorists that were fighting in Afghanistan, and Yemen, and Jordan!

My post no longer has structure, and for that I apologize. I cant seem to gather a cognitive statement when no one else is using their cognitive skills in the first place. I recommend everyone go and leave a post on this guys blog to show support, and offer encourgement. Im sure he needs it.