I know its inappropriate to bring up politics in a time of war (dirty dirty roaches) but I have to address the political election year pandering.

Its great that the immigration debate has surfaced. Its finally being addressed! Everyone should be happy that its finally seen the light of day! I grew up 200 miles from the border In NEW MEXICO which is virtually open to hitchhikers, so Im all for walls, or ditches, or National Guardsmen, or vigilantes (I almost signed up with the Minutemen last summer--a well regulated militia doesnt always involve weapons). Unfortunately, absolutely nothing definitive is going to happen this year. Know why?

ITS ELECTION YEAR! This translates to "dont step on any toes", "those 12 million illegals might vote some day", and "my hair looks way better than my competitors, making me ideal for public office". It drives me crazy! I say screw the useless incumbents--especially the neo-cons who arent acting like neo-cons! Why be so stalwart in conservative ideals if youre just going to back down the second someone frowns in your direction? I think I wont vote at all this year. Or Ill vote for the opposing party. I dont agree with them, but it might show the idiot Republicans that if they want to keep their majority, they should continue to please the constituent majority that voted them in! Who cares what the opposing party says? They say it every year!

Now, back to the frontlines. Its like the Tet Offensive in here!

Set up a defensive perimeter!

UPDATE ON ROACHWAR 2006:

1500 hours: Was forced to leave warzone for work. Called Brando at approximately 17:30 hours recommending a call to management for water damage repair and extermination. Water damage repair guy coming tomorrow at 1600. As for extermination...

My pappy always said, if you want something done, do it yourself. So, for the paltry sum of $13 US dollars, I dashed to Wal-Mart and tanked up on roach foggers and this Raid Max stuff you spray on the floor as a perimeter that kills them if they cross it for 6 months. After all, the best way to repel an invasion is to carpet bomb and set up a perimeter. Or is that START an invasion? No matter...

Thanks for all the encouragement (sniff) its been a tough few days, what with the heavy enemy casualties taking a toll on my soul. Oh crap, I just remembered every crunchy roach death is music to my enbattled ears! This Saturday, Brando and I commence Operation Overkill, involving lots of those fogbomb things. I dont care if roaches can survive for millions of years, they can survive human technological advancement! Three cheers for insecticide!

Have I mentioned...

That I FREAKIN HATE COCKROACHES?! Im not scared of anything, really. Death? no problem. Spiders, rats, snakes? Still nothing. I hate hate hate HATE roaches! When we first moved to New Mexico we lived in this house that was infested with roaches. I mean, everywhere. In my bed, in the shower, in the pantry, dozens and dozens. Then there were vinegaroons, which are whiptail scorpions about 4 inches long. They didnt bother me before then but ooooooh now I cant stand them. I WAS trying to go to sleep, but lo and behold I hear a "plop" across the room, like someone throwing down a wet rag on a tile floor. Being the paranoic I am, I turn on the lights and investigate. Nothing...

Then I see a roach on my trash can. A big one. I hate these things. I cant deal with them at all. Im calling the exterminator. Ugh. Twice Ive gotten up to pee at night and been in the process of urinating when one darts out from behind the toilet intent on making me hose down the bathroom. Dirty like things.

Good NUUs

Cause Karalynz started blogging again. I suppose the absence is forgiveable. After all, my suppositions are freakin' law. her addy is thenuu.blogspot.com, I think. She posted a snide comment on a recent post, so go from there.

Anyhoo, Ill tell you all about something that makes me a happy child inside: I found a site that has a huge selection of old game MIDI music! It brings back marvelous memories: the strained melodies of Secret of Monkey Island, the annoying Japanese wailing of Zelda, and all the other games that brought me thousands of hours of entertainment in the mid to late 90s. Good times. Also, swing by www.the-underdogs.info for the latest in Abandonware games (Abandonware is a term for a program that has been ditched by the company that made it because it is too old to be sold for profit, so they make it free for download! All those old games, for free! LEGALLY!)
Life may suck, but abandonware makes me giddy.

Pick up your shovel and walk to the mine

Huzzah! Tomorrow is more worky! Im emotionless right now. I cant figure out how i should feel at this particular moment in time. I feel a nagging longing since every member, excluding maybe one or two (myself being either or) is at my grandparents 50th anniversary bash in Arizona while I sit on the floor playing System Shock 2 (a marvelous classic) and listening to a pathetic mix of Enya and Iron Maiden. Its weird going from Carribean Blue to Dream of Mirrors.

I also keep feeling dread at having to call the management to fix the, well, everything in the apartment. This isnt exactly an ideal way to meet our new upstairs neighbors.

And then theres work...
and then theres miscellaneous religion problems...
and more religion problems...

and so on. Maybe if I start listening to a mix of Static X and Moody Blues.

Of roaches and busted pipes

What a delightful Memorial Day! Yesterday Brando and I spent the day sporadically hunting cockroaches that have been plaguing the apartment (phone call to management number 1) and today, Memorial Day, we spent the evening trying to stop the suddenly erupting waterfall coming from the apartment above. Turns out their piping is completely screwed up and when they turned on the washer it started leaking through the ceiling all over the kitchen, causing flood and famine wherever it roamed. This is phone call number 2.

Happy Memorial Day.

"I am not a number, I am a free man!"

Sci Fi channel is doing a Godzilla movie marathon today! HOORAY! I havent seen half these movies since I was a kid! Nothing quite like watching a Japanese man in a latex suit jumping up and down on a giant cockroach alien-driven robot from outer space. I think I might have a crappy movie fetish: I know they suck, but I enjoy them anyway...more like I enjoy their suckiness.

Wish I was in Arizona

I remember this commercial where a guy was surfing the internet and reached the end of it. I feel like that now. Ive downloaded 20 gigs of Mystery Science Theater and I cant think of anything else to download. The problem is this connection is so obnoxiously FAST that I cant use up all my bandwidth. I downloaded a crapload of songs, but to no avail. 700 megs in 30 minutes. Thats just stupid fast. Anyhoo....

Now for the drifting portion of the post that is integral to my blog--I have a coworker named Simon Templar (not seriously, have to save face and all that). Templar enjoys hitting the bottle a tad bit too much. I suspect this is because he has had some problems coping with cynicism. Not that anything terribly bad has happened to him that I can tell, just the little junk that bogs everyone down. He just has a problem with his outlook. Im fairly sure if he would just be a little more optimistic he wouldnt be such a downer. Just a thought.

Heres another thought that bothers me unceasingly: Ive noticed at work that whenever someone is out of the room everyone talks as much trash as possible about that person before they get back. Im sure they do that about me, but I really dont give them a reason to. I work hard and fast, stay on everyones good side, dont whine or peg people in the head with bean bags (another story)....but Im sure they still do it. It doesnt really bother me. Never has, I just needed to write to down, kind of like transfering a message so you dont have to carry it anymore. Hope everyone has a dandy Friday.

Breakin the Chay-ins Around You

Sooo my plans for Memorial Day have fallen through. I guess that translates to me sitting on my duff watching History Channel. I originally intended to meet the rest of my family in Arizona for a huge shindig because its my grandparents 50th anniversary, but it is entirely stupid to fly out for 400 bucks, then drive 4 1/2 hours, then stay for 20 hours, then drive another 4 1/2 and fly again. Doesnt make sense. Dangit. Ive been looking forward to this for 3 months and now...but enough of my whining.

I really dont have anything to blog about except work, so hey, Ill do that! The girl that has taken my place at the grand ol' scanning station is apparently incapable of work, constantly complaining about how its too much work, wah wah wah. When I was doing it, I was doing the jobs of three people (no joke folks) and still managing to leave at the same time as the night agents (which I am now...a night agent...). Its sort of aggravating, but I usually just do it for her cause I need the hours. I generally avoid bragging, but I have to toss this in here: it turns out Im the fastest scanner and breaker-downer that UPS has seen in about 10 years. Biyam! I can also crank of shipments as an Agent almost as fast as the guy that has been there for 2 1/2 years and we have a pleasant, albeit verbally violent, competition nightly so we can maintain sanity.

I enjoy my new title immensely. It has alot of gusto to it and makes me sound alot more important than I am. "Dell Air Export Agent Jon Young (which, consequently, is my name, which heretofore has never been stated on this blog or its now defunct predecessor)".

I think Im done now.

But...He'll see the BIG BOARD!

I tried the crossbow on my knife target. As I predicted, it didnt penetrate (well, I sort of predicted it)! I lined up for the second shot and BAM! The bowstring broke! Dangit! There goes all my indoor fun! I knew I shouldve ordered a spare string! Now I have a nice whelp on my hand and no crossbow. Im down in the dumps, for sooth.

In other news, its only a few days till my grandparents 50th anniversary, and I must declare that I am solidly stoked. Most of my family is gathering in a secret, undisclosed location in Arizona for sacred rituals, seances, and hot dogs. I cant wait! Ill only get to be there for a few days, but any time spent with my family is time well spent!

As for the picture...go watch Dr. Strangelove. "Mein Fuhrer, I can walk!" HAHAHAHAHA...that movie makes me roll.

Im in a really lecture-y mood tonight. Not sure why. My boss was wailing about how the bird flu is going to kill us all the other night and ever since Ive had this nagging need to scream and throw things at muck rakers and potstirrers. Here we go!

If you just casually scroll around the internet forums, youll find all sorts of fruitcakes. In one (it was a forum, or thread, about the band Rammstein, an almost assuredly fascist-supporting Aryan kind of German band) there were all manner of children and younger adults (loose term, now) from other countries saying how utterly militaristic the US is, how we need to stop spilling blood and conquering the world. So, let me address the issue to those of the human race who cant shut up and get the point.

the United States is no longer (we were at one time, but on a small scale--Manifest Destiny, remember?) imperalistic. if we were, we wouldve kept Japan, Germany, Kuwait, Iraq (after the first time), Tripoli, France, Italy, Morocco, Yemen, Saudi Arabia, Kosovo, South Korea, and many other places where we have intervened to keep some serious bloodsuckers from further raping the general populace. I find it deeply offensive not only to me as an American, but as an amateur historian. Any gorilla with a semi-developed brain can figure out without American action in Germany, France, Poland, and most of Europe would be chomping wurst and kraut and goosestepping the night away. I suppose its just my globally idiotic generation, but I just cant get my head around the idea that with unlimited information (for it is nearly unlimited--with the internet, if you want to know about it, its at your finger tips) kids can be so terribly uninformed. Its a blight, an unsatiable virus apparently, that strikes the young and voids their brains of neural patterns. Get a history book, you raving meatheads! For the LOVE!

I guess I shouldve put it together by now that common sense is such a valuable commodity that it should be stored in glass jars in basements for when the Reich of Amerika starts the Big One, dropping bombs (another fallacy--we have ICBMs, close contact through airdrop is unneccessary--we'll callously fry you from the comfort of our overindulgent homes!) and generally jacking the planet up more than the SUVs and firearm emissions already have. Have a nice evening, hippies. Smoke the peace pipe and dream of free love, whilst I dream of free ammunition and Calicos. God Bless America...for those who havent written him off to "destruction by science" yet.

a Crock for Christ

I recommend everyone go to xxxchurch.com. right now. Right FREAKIN NOW. I heard about it about 6 years ago and I think it really is a good idea--confront the widespread viewing of pornography among men and squash it. After going to the site and looking around, I say these guys are idiots.

ABSOLUTE
IDIOTS!

When I was growing up I got the verse from Ephesians drilled into my head: Let no unwholesome talk come from your mouths, but only what is good for building others up. I think its 3:19. My mom said it to us almost daily and wrote it on the fridge. I was reading through comments from site visitors where a guy said the Message (a guys interpretion of the Bible, which has no validity, its just some guy twisting the Word to say what he wants it to) is an utter lie and shouldnt be read or suggested to any Christian anywhere, and the response was from one of the site moderators (I think):


damn you andy
get your mighty arse outa your pedestal and start getting your hands dirty instead of bitchin bout crappora.
you think we are elite? well i tell you what, you got that damn right, we are better than you because you know what, we get out there doing god's work and you are not. shove that up in your arse for breakfast, you are full of shiiiiettt!!!
praising jesus, being as real as i can be!peace outj.z.

ATTAWAY! You tell that noncomformist old school, conservative meathead, sorry excuse for a Christian what you think! As a matter of fact, cussing is downright great compared to porn, right? Sin is on a scale of white to blacker than black, right? GOOD JOB! You read the Message and have some good ol' cafeteria religion!

It makes me sick. Utterly sick. It makes me so sick I cant even form a legitimate complaint without threats and screaming in my skull! Have you READ THE BOOK, JZ?!

Chronicle of Melancholy

Skip this post if you feel the need to keep your lunch.

Lately, as in the last 5 years, Ive had a hard time understanding the Church. By the church, I mean the Bride of Christ, not any specific denomination; of course, I only have close first-hand knowledge of my denomination so Ill run off of that. What I cant seem to get my head around is how the church can be so fantastic when it is just made up of people. Ive had it up to here with people, inside and out of the Body, so I guess thats where my hangup is. Dating women in the church is much more difficult than dating some random chick who doesnt care; mostly because when you find out that the womean is a complete skank (which there is a 90% chance of that nowawadays) the scab heals alot slower. While Im on the subject of women, Ill just change the direction of this post entirely.

I have a stigma against "damaged goods" women. What I mean by that is women who have carelessly thrown away their dignity for a one night stand, or some meathead's demands, or a number of other things that make me wretch that are too numerable to list. Im sure alot of people would say that Im far too strick in my selection process--to them, I say stick it. If I want social opinions from a genius, Id read Freud and have a good guffaw. Anyhooo, I just have this nagging feeling in my stomach that my constrictive view of courtship has deprived me of a lot of fun, or pleasure, or whatever it is that people derive from stupid meaningless relationships that go nowhere from the start. I know in my head that Im right, but Im not so convinced in my heart that I am. Its always a pleasure to explain to men (oh, how I use the term so lightly) back in my "home" town why I havent hitched my wagon to a pretty young mare yet. Well, to tell the truth, its because all the mares are mounted. Biyam, theres my running social commentary for today.

Its odd how that analogy makes me feel so utterly free of ineptness.

Im going to lose fingers, I just know it

Finally, we have live entertainment in the apartment! we have the styrofoam target set up in the living room so we can throw knives at it (with a little practice, knife throwing is a snap and its really fun. Tell your kids!) Im still debating whether its thick enough for the crossbow--its about 3 inches thick, but its debateable. Ballistic tests are in order!

Also, now that I have space, I think Ill get a recipe for ballistic gellatin and whip a batch up for my next trip to a ranch so I can have a nice coffee table (take the block of gellatin and case it in a pine frame...oh baby, classy furniture). Ive also come to the conclusion that it is a viable possibility that I am, indeed, an extremist. Its depressing now to go to a gun show and try to talk to a dealer about the suggested price of a weapon and they have no idea what Im saying. I mean, do car nuts get screwy looks? Of course not, and Im definitely not blurring the line between cars and guns. Sorry my posts keep drifting back to this stuff, but Im really out of ideas and Im only posting to let you all know Im still breathing.

Chanel #5? I like Hoppes #9 better

I chose today to fully consecrate my apartment by cleaning my guns and sharpening my knives while sitting on the floor watching Firefly episodes. As a side note, FIREFLY IS THE BEST TV SHOW EVER!! I hate TV and Firefly rocks my face off! I downloaded the whole season (it only ran for one because nutbags only like American Idol and other shows they can bob their heads and drag their knuckles in chorus to) and its freaking amazing. I love it to pieces. Anyway, I was cleaning my rifle and trying to figure out a way to get this broken shell out of the irremovable barrel when it occured to me--I love my parents to death for raising me to be independent.

There are two people at work my age: both have parents that call them at work to check up on them daily, send them money, coddle them like babies, etc. I speak with my parents maybe once a week, and usually the conversations are insightful and a good chat, but everyday? Youre 25! Grow up! I remember my first semester (only semester, consequently) at Oklahoma Christian University, sitting in my oral speech class in a small group discussing how our parents saw us off to college. Many of their parents accompanied them and cried, then promised all this junk (write, money, new car, prophylactics, the world) before leaving. Me? My parents went on a cruise. No joke. I thought it was funny, they thought it wasnt. So sue me. Maybe thats why we didnt get along so well (the school and I, not my parents).

So, heres to my parents for excellent parenting (not too soon after Mothers Day) and Joss Whedon for writing Firefly. Have a good Friday, people!

Driving a truck...

This weekend Brando and I made the 1200 mile round trip to Artesia, NM (where our parents live) to pick up furniture for the new apartment. Now, we have all the junk we really dont need sitting around and no place to put it. Ah, just like home! It was great talking with my family and spending a little time chewing the fat, but we were only in town 32 hours before we had to leave and a good chunk of it was done sorting through storage looking for places to sit.

Oddly enough, we were driving back to Dallas and passed my friend Rob who was also moving on the same highway on the same day. It was really, really strange. We had supper in Big Spring and caught up a little bit before hitting the road again. When we got back here it was 11:20 and we unloaded everything within 27 minutes (I timed it). I managed to drop the trailer off at U-Haul before getting back to the apartment to discover some dillweed had parked in my spot. Obviously the poor schmuck is spatially disoriented, so I let it slide, and I really hope it doesnt happen again so I can avoid raising a stink. I parked across the lot in the only open spot, which was open because its now illegal parking, only to be awakened at 10 by the garbage truck honking--alot--for me to move my truck so he could get the trash. What are the odds? I thought they picked it up on Tuesdays. Ah well.

So now we have three couches and only room for two and we're both still sitting on the floor because we didnt bring our computer desks. Its kinda funny though.

Comcast is my good good friend

Now that I have high speed internet, Im not sure what to do with it. So far Ive downloaded Sifl and Olly episodes, Mystery Science Theater episodes, Firefly episodes...and I cant think of anything else to do with it. Ah well.

It turns out I have to wait till I get 300 hours at UPS before I can get my new position. It should only be a week or two, but Im waiting with bated breath until then. A two dollar raise is something to look forward to for sure.

TK-421, do you copy?

Now that the title is out of my system...

I report to you now LIVE from my new apartment, sitting on the floor with the keyboard on my lap. We dont have most of our furniture yet, but its cool anyway. Thanks to overly generous donations from the kitchen of Rambouillet, I can cook anything in a jiffy...but so far, all we have is butter, milk, cheese slices, and bread. And peanut butter.

Anyway, as luck would have it, my roommate got up for work this morning only to discover his company went bankrupt, thereby putting him out of a job. Dang. Pray he gets another soon.

What happened to FrustratedWriter and Kara? Dadgummit. "get thee to a nunery" was just a phrase, woman! Ah, they'll be back. Hopefully.

Tomorrow is the big day, the day when I move into my new apartment. Everything is prepared; the cable man is coming to grant us unlimited History Channel (I can brag to my dad now..."say, I was watching this show on Hitler's god reserves...") and Cartoon Network. Everything else is just useless bunk. Also, I get my own bathroom! Isnt that great?! Only for me! Im stoked!

Random Thoughts

Because thats what my brain consists of. Uh oh, I left a preposition at the end of a sentence! Shame on me!

• It makes me sad that people are so consumed with scaremongering. Were not going to run out of oil soon. If we do, we'll find something else to use as fuel. Stop panicking, you tards! humanity ALWAYS finds another way!
• I heard that the polar bears are drowning because the ice caps are melting. Are you kidding me? They swim for Pete's sake. Are they just so stupid that they randomly find themselves nowhere near an ice floe or land that they drown? Gimme a break.
• I saw a preview for X-Men: The Last Stand. ARCHANGEL IS IN THIS ONE!! I swore I wouldnt get so excited about the new movie, but understand me and my brother read The Uncanny X-Men comics when we were younger. OOooh it looks cool! And Beast is in this one too! Maybe Gambit too!
• I think Hollywood gets their jollies by making everyone feel like crap by parading "perfect" people (in looks only, and even that is a precarious statement) around. I think that might be a legitimate conspiracy: all the cosmetic and self-improvement companies are in league with Hollywood! We feel like crap, try to make ourselves un-crap, and BAM money for everyone but us. I smell a coverup.
• I have to be at work at 8 in the morning tomorrow, or rather in a little over 7 hours. This is due to rampaging computer problems at UPS, meaning I sacrifice sleep for the greater good of shipping and Air Exports. sigh...
• Anti-smoking campaigns are stupid. Ive decided that its nobody's FREAKIN business if I decide to kill myself slowly over a very, very long period. Now drinking can affect alot of people, and yet its not really regulated. Go figure. I guess that means the diehard smokers will roll over and die while the alcoholics will fight like mad for their booze. The American people are far, far too dependant now. Government should stay out of my business, period. End of statement. Freedom ends when the government begins. Quote me on that one.

And that picture is unrelated, but its my blog and I like the picture.

I am a member of the Church of Christ. For some reason (I know the reason, and if you moaned internally when you read the first sentence, the you know the reason also) people have a terrible stigma against the CoC. Apparently, a long time ago, the CoC did something HORRIFICALLY UNFORGIVEABLE so that no one can ever accept the words "Im with the Church if Christ" without rolling their eyes and saying something like "oh, youre one of them" or "ooooh boy". Ive had two co-workers ask me what denomination I am, and both have said variations on the theme.

It really does make my stomach hurt to have this kind of response. What difference does it make that 100 years ago the Baptists and the Church if Christ started some retarded rivalry that continues still? Im so sick of labels. Moreover, Im sick of double standards. Sure, you can slander me into the ground, but if I say something that can be construed as such, its definite proof that the Church of Christ is a worthless, hollow organization not worthy of anyones time. I remember in high school having debates with Baptists (I have nothing, and I do meaning nothing, against Baptists--my sister married one) where they started off by telling me I was wrong. I gave them my proof for what I believe is doctrine, and they replied by saying that I suggested that Revelations was not divinely-inspired, which was fifty billion miles from what I had just said. I even visited both (there were two guys I often talked with) of their churches but they never made the effort to visit mine, because, well, that a capella singing is just too boring.

Point 1: I love a capella singing.
Point 2: I loathe denominations. Its the most un-Christlike thing that the Christians have ever done. This idea of "what I think holds sway over the Church" is a total crock. Its downright Pharisaical.
Point 3: Do people sigh and moan and roll their eyes at Baptists, or Presbyterians, or Mormons, or Muslims or Hindus or even freakin' cultists? No.
Point 4: I think every "notable" reason for church splits could easily be sorted out if people took the Bible for what it was instead of making crap up and filling in holes that arent there, and reading between lines that dont require reading into. "Love your neighbor" is pretty straightforward.
Point 5: Im really sick of the Church of Christ coming through the windows simply because the Baptists come through the doors, and vice versa. My sisters marriage has been a learning experience to say the least.

Okay, I feel better.

I love these tests

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Soon, Ill be shot

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Memory Dump

or maybe its just a bunch of dump.

• I attempted to watch the 1966 version of Batman this morning before work. I failed miserably. I sincerely hope the director was trying to be funny, because I wanted to sock Robin for the thirty minutes I watched it.
• I finished the Old Man and the Sea by listening to it on audiobook at work. I also waxed the General's Daughter, which is a particularly disturbing book in its own right. Time to head back to the library so work wont become mundane.
• I need some new pants.
• We move into the new apartment next Monday and I havent gotten the cable and power turned on yet. Guess I should get on that, huh? For the first week we'll be missing most our furniture, but we'll have two TVs, so its all good.
• Dag, Im tired!
• I have an EspressoMaster and I dont even drink coffee. For that matter, I have a coffee maker too. I think Ill try to start so I wont feel like a wastrel.

Well, thats all for now. Good morning, or evening, or whatever...it feels like evening to me, but its 2 AM. Ho hum.

Halle Berry is a retard

I saw a picture of Halle Barry portraying Storm in the new X-Men movie. First off, I cant stand her. Shes a crappy actress and ruined Catwoman, if that is even humanly possible. Secondly, has anyone else noticed how her hair has changed more and more in all the X-Men Movies? In the new one, its changed again. I think her hair has developed a different psyche and soon will consume her retarded body. A scientific study was conducted to determine what her hair will look like in the next X-Men movie. The result is the picture you see:

Millions of dollars of tax money went into funding this research.

I figured Id take a moment out of my busy life to fill in the blogosphere to happenings around...me. I worked Saturday and Sunday (and missed church, which made me feel terrible) but I arrived at work today to find out Mary, the local office wench who didnt like me too much, has thrown in the towel. Oh, darn! Thats..terrible! You know why I think its great (besides the fact that office life is much more bearable now)? IM NEXT IN LINE FOR HER JOB! HAHAHAHAHAHAH! Life is good!

And thats, uh, just about all thats happening around here.